My Bridesmaid Experience

”In China during the feudal era, the female womb was seen as precious for the production of an heir. Brides were susceptible to kidnapping at weddings by rival clans and hooligans. Shouldering the responsibility to protect the bride, bridesmaids were dressed up like the bride to lower the risk that she might be identified and robbed. As legal protections for marriage were established, this was no longer necessary, and the role of bridesmaid took a more symbolic turn.”


It’s not quite the role you imagine when you say yes to being a bridesmaid… I’ve been fortunate enough to be asked twice to be a bridesmaid – which was very honourable both times. I didn’t know what to expect the first time and just did by best to ‘put out any fires’. If someone was needed to fix something, move something, carry something then I raised my hand because you’re a bridesmaid!

First time being a bridesmaid for Rachel

What Does a Bridesmaid Do?

The role of a bridesmaid is 100% about support. You have to put aside any reservations, any requests, any desires and support that bride from dawn until dusk. If you have a great bride she will also make sure you have a fantastic time.

On both occasions I knew the bride very well and knew they would have very different needs on the day. One is a ”stresser” so my goal all day was to keep her calm and fix the small stuff. The other bride is a very carefree person so my goal was to bring things to her attention and see where I could make things better throughout the day.

You should know your bride well enough to know what she needs on the day. For example I’m very structured and organised so in the kindest way, I need my bridesmaids to do as I ask all day! They know how much I will love them for it though and I’ve had great suggestions and support so far.

Second time around with Kat and her other bridesmaid and bridesmen

Who To Ask?

Knowing the effort and work load that goes into planning a wedding, my goal was to pick people who would drop their world for a few days to be anything I needed them to be. I love them all and they’re wonderful, supportive and giving which are really the only things that matter. Ignore everyone who tells you to pick so-and-so because of some stupid reason and pick who you want in your heart to be standing up there with you on your day.

Two of my bridesmaids of female and 1 is male – we are calling him my bridesman. I don’t give a shit that he’s a guy, we love each other and he’s one of my best friends and I wouldn’t want this experience without him so he’s my bridesmaid! That’s part of the joy of having a non-traditional wedding as you can do anything you want. 

I have a few potentional people to ask nearer the time but so far it’s these gorgeous people…

Aren’t they beautiful? Love ’em.

Should You Have a Maid of Honour?

I am a highly organised person who thinks a lot about the details. Personally I think that makes me a great bridesmaid but both times I wasn’t the Maid of Honour. I certainly put in a lot of effect regardless of who had what role and that’s why, I’ve decided not to have a maid of honour.

I have 1 bridesmaid who is a party-going whirlwind of fun, 1 who is going to be there by my side and do anything I ask and one who’s recently been a bride herself so is organised and level headed. Who am I to say one quality is worth more than the other? They all have excellent attributes that will assist me on the day and I love all of them.



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